How do you overcome fear?

I did it! How? by facing it😁

I tried something new that I have never done before, ice skating and I have enjoyed it so much!😃

My friend  was about to come to my house to visit me. She told me to look for an ice skating place in my area which, I did and sent her the details. She then booked and paid for the tickets for 4 of us. 

I kept on telling my friend that I've never been ice skating and I wasn't sure weather I wanted to do it or not. she said "that's good, you can do it now!" I was laughing nervously and said that I couldn't do it. However, I had the courage and decided to go ice skating even though I was so scared.😱

When we got there my friend hired a penguin and a dolphin to support us. when they gave me the ice skating shoes I was fine walking with them around the changing area but when I got on to the ice, oh my gosh! I couldn't stand I was just laughing so much. the ice was so slippery. I saw younger kids doing so well; my son, my friend and her son. I just stood there watching them and holding onto the bar. 

After a while my kind friend then asked a staff member to give me and my son instructions on how to ice skate and he did. Now I was able to stand and walk around by holding the bar. My friend then asked me if I would like to take the penguin or a dolphin to support me. I felt like that was not the right thing to do for me at that moment. So I said no. 

She then suggested to take me on a ride where I would sit on the dolphin and she would push me. I said yes because that felt ok with me. I had so much fun, I laughed, I enjoyed it and I was so glad that I tried this new experience. Now I know what it feels like to ice skate and now I can develop this skill further by practicing with others support to enjoy the adventure more and the unique experience I had💖.

I believe that to overcome your fears you need to take the opportunity when it comes. Do what you fear with others support. eventually through practice you will overcome your fear and develop skills needed to do what you  might like. Also, if you don't like it then you will find out that you tried it but you didn't like it and that's fine. Now watch me and laugh😉.

leave your comments and suggest what topics you would like me to talk about please.

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Did you ever ride a horse?

How does it feel like to ride a horse?     

I really enjoyed this experience that a friend of mine provided for me. I sat on a horse when I was younger but I did not ride it. Perhaps that why I was not totally scared when I went to ride this horse with support. Hopefully one day I will ride a horse on my own😁 

To ride the horse I was instructed and guided. I stood on a high stand/wooden block and then climb onto the kind and beautiful Wilma.  She was 24 years old. She was gentle and very friendly. 

She listened well and followed instructions. I also listened and followed instructions such as when Wilma walked down the hill  I would lean back and vice verse. I learned how to make Wilma turn right and left. Also, to make her go and stop when I wanted her to do.

After riding Wilma and arriving safety, I went to visit the place. I got to see other horses but this one specially really touched me. He/she lost eye sight on one eye. This horse was so calm, friendly and approachable. When touching this horse I felt peace.

This experience was fascinating and something that I did for my own sake. I felt so happy as I love doing things that make me happy and when there is an opportunity I take it because I know how the good experience can make me feel and I like that feeling.

I wonder what kind of things people do for their own sake. Things that makes them happy and fill their soul with positive energy. I am talking about those things that nobody else can do for you. Only you can do them for your own mental health and wellbeing. What are your hobbies and how important are they for your wellbeing?

Share your thoughts 

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4. What strategies to deal with negative emotions can be useful and productive?

 4. What strategies to deal with negative emotions can be useful and productive?

When facing challenging times I did what I could do with what I had. I was  kind to myself, I did the things I like, I ate well,  I did exercise even when I didn't feel like doing anything. I spoke to my trusted friends and family members. I expressed gratitude, helped other people.

I was  proactive I searched for other meanings and purpose such as studying, while going through the pain and making sense of the hardship situations I was going  through in my life, I put myself in first place, I read relevant books, watched motivational videos/ speeches, I fed my mind, spirit and body with positive things. When you don't know what to do when going through hardship, don't worry. Only do what you can, live one day at time and know that you are not alone, pray. 

Refusing to accept, numb or to acknowledge the called negative or discomfort emotions, to protect yourself does not help in a log ran. Neither ignoring the reality of the facts that can be the stress. depression, anxiety, divorce, unemployment, losing a loved one, a tragic accident, betrayal, or any other unpleasant circumstances. 

Lifespan is like a flash at some point life can hit you so hard that you will find it hard to lift your body weight your mind and spirit up.Nobody can do this for you. Only you can bounce back and fight for your life. why? because of all the things you have achieved alone until the day everything turns upside down. 

Susan David (who created the emotional agility concept see the link bellow:) shows that those emotionally agile are not protected from life setbacks and stress.Yet, they know how to gain insight into feelings at challenging times. Consequently, their experiences to adapt accordingly to their actions and make the best choices for themselves. 

We can become emotionally agile when facing hardship by first showing up, having compassion accepting all our emotions, thoughts and stories that we are experiencing without judgement. Second stepping up, by distancing ourselves from what we are feeling. For example if we are feeling sad, take notice that we are feeling sad, not that we are sad. Making sure that we label the emotion correctly. Third, connect with our emotions,  needs and values, what is important to us? who do we want to be?. 

fourth, moving through our emotions because emotions are data so what are your called negative emotions telling you according to your needs and values? Have the courage to take action even if you feel fear take small steps, live one day at time. Remember that you can be agile by developing skills such as calm, empathy for yourself and for other people. Also, when you connect to your values this ability allow's you to seek your purpose, never give up on yourself. 

Unddertanding what your discomfort emotions are telling you will enable you to move foward. My advice to you reflecting on my own experience is to remind you that your are not alone, have faith. Also, family and friends are there to support you, ask for help.

Let me know your thoughts on this post. Also, your suggestions on the topic to write about, I am here for you.

Thanks.

3. How do people deal with negative emotions?

 

2. How do people deal with negative emotions?

I cried, while feeling the mixture of emotions in my life. After, I had to see the reality as it is. I looked at all that I have achieved with God's grace and I realised that I was not alone. I also have family, friends and love. I took care of myself and find out how strong I was that I didn't even know. I did not choose to go through my experiences but I am grateful that I went through them. The hardship in my life is what had helped me to discover who I am and what are my values and strengths that I didn't know I had. 

Feelings of stress, anxiety overwhelmed,  disgust, confusion, anger, sadness, and helplessness, it is ok to have these feelings. At this stage you might question yourself and be uncertain about what decisions to make. In the last decades, positive psychology came about and instead of curing diseases it tries to focus on resources and instead of excluding negative emotions it aims to use them for growth. Negative emotions are there to help you if you connect to them.

Martin Seligman the founder of positive psychology believes  that there was more to psychology beyond negative feelings, damage, disease and weakness. Positive psychology study message also focusses on virtues and strength such as having positive emotions, relationships and achievements. Treatment is not  only about fixing what is wrong but  building what is right too. Brene Brown (researcher story teller) believes that uncertainty is a combination of vulnerability, risk and emotional exposure to things that makes us uncomfortable.

I know how hard it is to try to get up and touch the sky when the clouds are heavy and grey, I have been there. Yet, I want you to know that whatever emotions and feelings you are going through now will not be there forever. even though it feels like it. They are only temporarily and will soon pass. take one step at the time, live one day at the time. Have faith eventually, the sky will clear up and the clouds will be light again

 

 For instance, Martin Seligman suggests that you focus more on what you can get out of life rather than what you cannot. Whereas, Brene Brown understanding of vulnerability is that  we should allow ourselves to be deeply seen and have the courage to let go who we think we should be to enable us to be who we are. The reason why is because those who embraced vulnerability fully and kept on moving even in the hard times.  They believed that what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful. I suggest that you really take care of yourself in the hard times because your enduring during those challenging times will pay off later. Do not take  the easy way out but the way your feelings, emotions, intuition and inner peace are leading you even if your mind is telling you lies. As this can be the open door for your happiness or to know the unknown. Never give up and put yourself first, take care of yourself. Do not expect nobody to do it for you. Your family and friends are going to be there for you but there are somethings that nobody can do for you. You have to stand up for yourself.

Both Psychology agreed that we should focus on the positive side of life, not the negatives. As the credit belongs to those who give their best and even if they fail, they keep on trying. Remember what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.! 

Listen to yourself, your body sensations, your instincts. What are the negative emotions telling you to do in relation to the situation you are going through? Do you make a decision while feeling a mixture of emotions or do you calmly connect to your emotions and figure out what message they are bringing you? Deep inside even though you don't want to listen to them. But what are your emotions truly telling you to do when you are calm?

Let me know your thoughts on this post. Also, your suggestions on the topic to write about, I am here for you.

Thanks.